I joined Tumblr a long time ago, initially it was just to vent and find help while I was loosing my ex-fiance during the midst of losing my ultimate job, twice in a week, almost losing my family and having had to move back from America. On my side it was very public. I loved that girl to bits at the time. She was Tumblrfamous and the guy she left me for was the biggest Tumblr creep. I think a large part of me thought If I could understand, perhaps learn what everyone loved about him, then maybe I could win her back. I needed some control in my life; I had turned bulimic and was deeply depressed.
Everyone on Tumblr was so nice and kind. My first talk being with Lickystickypicky. They helped me out and gave me a shoulder to cry on. On my next visit to San Francisco, a few Tumblfriends in L.A. told me to come to the Tumblr meetup. I don't have much memories from that night, but standing in my boxers dripping wet from the hot tub introducing myself to people is my favourite. I had a very intense fling with a girl (where I learned "It's okay to be broken") that I adored too much, but it wasn't to be. After that Tumblrfamous mess, I go back to England. I get fucked over by both sets of friends that I had met; both for ridiculous reasons.
Then it brought me to fall in love with another but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be, but it teaches me a lot about myself that I never thought possible.
I discover first hand what it is like to be mistreated in a bad relationship with another girl. It opens my eyes to a lot.
I start to realise how fake people on this earth truly are. And that not everyone has the wants nor the abilities to be honest nor unselfish. Though I do find out there are a few special people out there. A few people worth my time and attention. I start to realise what makes me different from other people; my strengths and weaknesses, Thanks to Tumblr. I knew I was mature beyond my years in some ways before, but I mature other ways and find myself finally in knowledge of everything that makes me. I finally take some peace in the horrors of my childhood and the things that have me permanently broken. I learnt that I can't not help people; the week that I decided I would not help anyone; I found myself trying to help a mother with her marital problems and ex boyfriend problems (all Tumblrs). I know what it's like to go through dark shit and not have anyone, and so I can not help but try and make no one else go through the same... no matter how much it hurts me.
The cause of my suicidal feelings are usually only logic based. The sort of person I am; the want to help anyone and everyone, even if it hurts me; the kind of guy who platonically falls in love with everyone I meet, the kind of guy who is used to online interaction meaning "something". Most people on Tumblr are not the same, and I find myself chasing words of support that are only to put their own conscience at ease.
Tumblr has done a lot for me over the last year I have been on it; I have felt what it is like to be stalked, I have fallen in love, I have fallen in like, I have failed romances and I have come out a better person. But I need some "Me Time" to try and grow myself and be okay with all the bad things going on and how to deal with the reality of that not everyone is like me, and the the fact that that currently holds me back.
I hope you stick around and carry on following me. I will probably post once in a while still (and there's a good chance i'll be permanently back at a later point). All my other Tumblrs have moderators and/or will carry on being moderated. There are plenty of Tumblrs for your viewing pleasure that are worth following:
I want to say good, luck, I shall miss you all, and if you ever want to contact me, for any reason, even if just to say Hi:
I am a successful 23 year old web developer, designer, entrepreneur (with 11 years commercial experience – I started young.) from the UK. I have lived in Asia, Europe and America and am a fan of all three places. Currently living in the UK. Read more…
You can email me or AIM me: pie0pie0, I enjoy being contacted!
I’m not happy. Doing my best to stay positive. But when the one thing in this world that gives you hope for this world is people; and you keep getting screwed over by people you respect the most… I can’t help but be fucked off. People I’ve called my best friends.
People who have offered help, but then make me spend days trying to get it. I realised; people only offer help to make themselves feel better. Remember that time you said you’d be there for me if I needed, remember those times I tried, those times you watched me in pain and did nothing? Yeah. Thanks.
People are selfish, and that’s their inherent right… but is there really NO ONE who isn’t willing to fuck each other over? Because so far… I don’t see it.
And if there is no beauty in people, where is the beauty in this world.
lulubelle1:dailycuteboy:taylorinrva:
Mark Salling… this is my FAVORITE of him yet
My Goodness! He’s sexy.
This is going to be my next haircut. No, seriously. I’ve been planning it a while.
What’s your name?
pie0 [no surname]
What’s your tumblr?
pie0
Ask/tell/Confess/Divulge/Inform me ANYTHING
What is your general camera set up? What do you love to photograph?
Interesting enough, pie, I know that you have a pretty decent pro setup on your Nikon, which impresses me that your asking me this question. I don’t have DLSR, hell, not even a camera with an adjustable ISO light control. lol.
Its a Fuji F480, which it’s basically a $180 point-and-shoot, nothing fancy at all. More shocking enough to my credit, for the majority of the photos that I’ve posted (my personal ones) have been edited in iPhoto.
Yes. iPhoto, the consumer photo editing program that comes with every Mac.
Simple, easy, and intutive. For my candid photos, those are the only “tricks” to it thatI use. Photoshop, I have more than 7 years experience in, with Illustrator likewise. Yet unless it’s something that I have to totally change its composition, elements, or composite it with other elements, then Photoshop isn’t required.
Let this be a lesson for you would-be “photoshoppers”
About your blog (http://pie0.tumblr.com/):
It’s goes without saying how insanely interesting the amount of content that is on this blog. I’ve been following you for months, “liking” and reblogging countless posts. The photos that you have taken have really inspired me (along with the photo work of some tumblrs here like thesunking, melanderson, and the wondrous photos of unnerving) to consider getting a Nikon myself. It’s been a long time coming and I think i’d love to experiment with depth of field and adjusting lens focusing.
Should be a whole new sight on life. :D
Thank you! Those words are very kind.
It’s not about the equipment, it’s about the eye. Someone with a point and shoot can be way better than someone with the most expensive equipment. As I always say; Joey L started out on a point and shoot and he was doing commercial work. I used to use iPhoto but I prefer the extensibility of Lightroom.
Keep up your work. Your photos are great, especially for a point and shoot.
(via joostlultwel)
Over 18. Posts original stuff too. Someone with a face and a bio helps (I like to know who I am interacting with). Or link me to your Follow Fridays or such.
my laptop doesn’t have a charger, my house had no internet.
someone wanna mail me a macbook pro charger? there ain’t no way i’m spending $80 on one of those motherfuckers.
I got a replacement for $20 on ebay. It was a makeshift unofficial one but it worked.
A HOLE-IN-THE-WALL canteen in Hong Kong that offers dishes for less than $1.50 has become the world’s cheapest Michelin-starred restaurant.
damnbryony:goldrauch:orientaltiger
I was just thinking this. :)
Bryony. You have my email if you need.
I was also just thinking this.
heathernicole85:alycatastrophe:ohnoesaskars:lulubelle1:
This is almost too much cute for me to handle.
Too much cuteness for a Monday.
It’s not only the mindset, but when I post dirty posts, I don’t feel so awkward. I mean I was having sex at 15, but it’s still… now I’m older.
I’m going to recommend you read A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby. Don’t let the exerpt I read you be any sort of judge of the book. I’m just a shitty reader, and I picked the least British sounding chunk of text to read. If you like quick, interesting, easy reads that eventually lift your spirits, this is guaranteed to atleast give you a smile. I’ll give you a real exerpt:
“I’d spent the previous couple of months looking up suicide inquests on the Internet, just out of curiosity. And nearly every single time, the coroner says the same thing: “He took his own life while the balance of his mind was disturbed.” And then you read the story about the poor bastard: his wife was sleeping with his best friend, he’d lost his job, his daughter had been killed in a road accident some months before…. Hello, Mr Coroner? Anyone at home? I’m sorry, but there’s no disturbed mental balance here, my friend. I’d say he got it just right. Bad thing upon bad thing upon bad thing until you can’t take any more, and then it’s off to the nearest multi-storey car park in the family hatchback with a length of rubber tubing. Surely that’s fair enough? Surely the coroner’s inquest should read, “He took his own life after sober and careful contemplation of the fucking shambles it had become”?
Not once did I read a newspaper report, which convinced me that the deceased was off the old trolley. You know: “The Manchester United forward, who was engaged to the current Miss Sweden, had recently achieved a unique Double: he is the only man ever to have won the FA Cup and an Oscar for Best Actor in the same year. The rights to his first novel had just been bought for an undisclosed sum by Stephen Spielberg. He was found hanging from a beam in his stables by a member of his staff.” Now, I’ve never seen a coroner’s report like that, but if there were cases in which happy, successful, talented people took their own lives, one could safely come to the conclusion that the old balance was indeed wonky. And I’m not saying that being engaged to Miss Sweden, playing for Manchester United and winning Oscars inoculates you against depression - I’m sure it doesn’t. I’m just saying that these things help. Look at the statistics. You’re more likely to top yourself if you’ve just gone!
through a divorce. Or if you’re anorexic. Or if you’re unemployed. Or if you’re a prostitute. Or if you’ve fought in a war, or if you’ve been raped, or if you’ve lost somebody….. There are lots and lots of factors that push people over the edge; none of these factors are likely to make you feel anything but fucking miserable.”
You’re a darling.
Interesting. Personally I’ve been suicidal all my life. It’s always been based off logic, rather than passion or pain. Thanks you :)
http://www.formspring.com/forms/?652897-usxTYl9qlu - Ask me anything!
